Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
