the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
