I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Randomize
