she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
