Need sex. Gaining weight.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
