im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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