if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
