idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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