upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
