come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
