Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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