East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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