I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
