VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Couch. On fire.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
