Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
