I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
