I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Sober January is a disaster.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
