I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
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