i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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