My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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