would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
