At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
