Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
