Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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