We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
