Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
