i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
