onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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