So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
