I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
