So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
