I didn't shave. On purpose
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
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