My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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