My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
