that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
