no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
