I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize