What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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