You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Randomize
