is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
