you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize