He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
