You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
