I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
