It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
