Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
