I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
