youre lurking in front of me
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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