Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize