I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
North Korea, Best Korea!
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
