***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
