What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize