I wish life had little blips of pornography
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
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