I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
