Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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