It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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