when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
