carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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