My balls are so social today.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
