This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
