names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
There r osticjed everywhere
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
